


Tragedy at the CS

by Terrygo



Category: Chalet School - Elinor M. Brent-Dyer
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29713812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terrygo/pseuds/Terrygo
Summary: This involves the death, off screen, of a major character, something I have wanted to do for some time.I have put it off because the character I chose is my favourite, and is popular and well liked.I have finally raised the courage to do it, and to explore the feelings of those left behind and how their lives are impacted.
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

“I can’t do it Miss Annersley, its unfair, cruel of you to expect me to” Ted protested angrily, tearfully.  
“I need you Ted, the girls need the special kind of leadership that only you can bring at this time “Hilda said soberly.  
“But it’s wrong, it shouldn’t even be happening” Ted was distraught “She should be here, if she hadn’t come to visit me she would be here, it’s my fault”  
“It is no one’s fault Ted, you cannot blame yourself in any way, your friendship with Len gave her strength and happiness, I know just how much she was looking forward to seeing you and Ros.”  
“And because she did, because she came she is, she is dead” Ted buried her face in her hands and sobbed, wracking sobs of pain and disbelief.  
Hilda gently pulled her onto the sofa where she sat holding the shaking girl until the tears dried up, which took some time. “You must not blame yourself, if you do you will never  
find peace again, try to remember the fun you had together”

Ted was silent, still shaking, looking at the floor, Hilda knew if she could see her eyes they would be filled with pain.  
“She would want you to carry one, to take over, she told me more than once that she felt you should have been the head girl, that you would do it so much better than her. I am sorry to have to ask you to prove that she was right, it will be a hard job, one of the hardest right now, but I need you, the school needs you to step into her shoes.”  
“I can’t “whispered Ted” I’ll miss her so much”  
“We will all miss her Ted, Len was one of the most popular girls in this school “Hilda said, pain in her own voice “and we were close”  
They sat in silence for a while, just thinking, grieving at the loss of someone so young, with so much to look forward to. Ted had never had a friend like Len, never thought she ever would after all her stupidity in her earlier schools. Her too short time with Len would be the most precious that she had ever had, and through Len she had also gained Ros.  
“Does Ros know? “she asked suddenly.  
“I have asked her mother to tell her”  
“Do you think she could come out here, spend some time” Ted sounded hopeful, wistful.  
“I can ask, Ted,”  
“Tell her I’ll pay any expenses”  
“I will do what I can “Hilda promised.it would help Ted, she realised, the three had been good friends and the memories might help ease the pain.

Ted inhaled deeply “I’ll do it, Miss Annersley, I’ll take on head girl”  
“Who would you like as senior prefect, who would help you cope as well as the school, you can pick anyone”  
“Carmela, she’s a good person.”  
“Then she will be, Ted, this is going to be the hardest thing you have ever done, it’s probably the hardest thing I have ever asked anyone to do, I admire your courage.”  
“I’m doing it for Len, she believed in me, I won’t let her down”  
“I have no doubt of that.”


	2. Chapter 2

Ted went to Len’s old study, hers now, it was empty, the contents carefully stored away. Ted wasn’t sure if she was pleased or not, seeing Lens things would have been painful yet perhaps comforting. However, she realised that it wasn’t totally empty, on the bed were some items, left deliberately to help Ted to cope. She sat down on the bed and picked them up, one by one, a pair of gloves that she herself had given Len, a fountain pen, well used, a cushion that Ted picked up and smelled, she could almost smell her friend, and a jumper in Lens favourite colour. Ted hugged it tightly, tears streaming down her face, sobbing uncontrollably. She felt arms around her, for a moment thought, hoped, it was Len, but it wasn’t, it was someone else holding her tightly, saying nothing, just offering silent help. Eventually the tears stopped and Ted realised that it was Kathie that was holding her “Sorry Miss Ferrars” she muttered scrubbing tears from her eyes.  
Kathie’s own eyes were wet “There is no need to apologise “she said softly “I want you to know that we, the staff, understand just how hard this is going to be for you and that we will support you in any way that we can. Nancy and I will always listen, always Ted, I promise”and Ted dimly realised that Nancy was also there silently leaning against the door, a deliberate move in case anyone had tried to come in.  
“I miss her so much, I look for her and she’s not there, I listen for her and she’s not there, how can I do this without her” Ted whispered. She was a strong character but this was devastating, more than any schoolgirl should have to deal with. And the guilt was still there, the guilt that Len was returning from a visit to her.  
“She is still here, she is in your heart and will always be so “Kathie told her gently but sincerely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some chapters will be longer than others....

The school gathered in the hall, the youngsters were struck by the strangely sombre mood of teachers and prefects and behaved that way themselves without knowing why. The hall contained a full complement of teachers, all very formal in their gowns. On the stage stood Hilda and Nell, where the head girl normally was stood a grim faced Ted.  
“Where’s Len? “some whispered.  
“Maybe ill “others shrugged.  
Hilda turned to face the school, the elder ones were struck by just how grave she was, looking round some of them realised that the prefects were not far from tears.  
“Welcome back school “Hilda began gravely “I have an announcement, not one I ever thought that I would make, not one I would ever want to make. Before I tell you I ask you all to be brave and to help each other in these coming difficult days. “She stopped to gather herself, although Nell was with her she knew her friend was too distraught to speak. The girls were silent, waiting, all looking at her expectantly, anxiously, some of the older girls starting to dimly realise.  
“You may have heard or seen reports of the train crash in France recently, one that sadly killed many passengers and crew. “She saw nods from the girls “I have to tell you all that one of those passengers that died was Len Maynard, our head girl. “She paused again, felt the touch of Nell’s hand on her arm “I know Len was well liked by you all, I know this is an awful thing to have to tell you on what is normally a happy first day back at school. I ask you all to be brave to help each other, including our new girls, you didn’t know Len but you can help. In a few days we will be holding a memorial service for Len.Ted will be taking over as head girl, Carmela as senior prefect, I ask that you all give them support. Now, I would like you to go back to your form rooms, mistresses will be joining you, talk to them if you need to. “and she dismissed the stunned, silent, white-faced crowd.


	4. Chapter 4

Con and Margot weren’t at school, they were at home trying to comfort the younger ones and each other. They sat together in Len’s room, amongst her things and tried to imagine life without her.Con was dimly aware that she was now the eldest Maynard and frankly she hated that thought, both for the reason and the problems it would cause her.  
“I’m not Len “she said to Margot “I don’t have her patience, her understanding, I don’t want to take over her role”  
“They might not expect it “Margot said dully, she was fighting her own battle, one that she would in time share with Con.  
“They will, they always did, the eldest does the work” Con was bitter, at life for taking her sister and at the dynamics of the household. Her thoughts were mixed, confused, not unnatural at that time, and she was dimly aware of what Len had been expected to do, what she,Con, and Margot, had been happy to ignore. She was angry for herself and angry for Len. “I miss her so much “she whispered.  
Margot hugged her “So do I, more than I ever thought I would.”

Margot was angry over many things, the total unfairness of it happening, just when her and Len had started to rebuild their relationship over the Ted episode. But she was also angry at God and very much at that point doubting her decision to become a nun. She had become unsure of it anyway as she grew older, feeling that perhaps she was pushed into it a little, but now, now was just anger, how could he let it happen! Like Con her thoughts were confused but right now she thought there was no way that she would ever be a nun, a doctor yes, but a nun never. If God could be so cruel she wanted no part of it.


	5. Chapter 5

Hilda put the phone down, she had contacted Tom Gay’s parents and they had promised to go and see the Lilley’s,Hilda hoped Ros would come, could come, it would help both her and Ted.Her thoughts went to Nell who was totally devastated at the loss of her god daughter, the relationship was more than that, deeper than that. Hilda herself felt a grief she had rarely felt, not since the death of her mother, after all she had been aunt like to all of the Maynard’s, how Nell felt she could only guess, how could she help her?  
Nell sat at her desk, just staring at the paper in front of her, why was she is even pretending to work? Because she was trying to pretend everything was normal, that nothing had changed, that Len, that Len, she put her head in her hands and wept. Nothing was normal, nothing would ever be the same again.  
Naturally Madge was with Joey, she had flown out as soon as the news was heard.Jem was with Jack, he had taken on the horrible task of identifying Len, not a thing he ever wanted to do again. Yes, he was a doctor and he cared but his patients were not related to him, the feelings were different. He hated the loss of any young life but this was his niece, his own family.  
Madge was worried about Joey, unlike everyone else she seemed to accept the news calmly, few tears, this was how she had been when they thought Jack was dead in the war. Unlike then there would be no second chance for Len, no amount of second sight would change the result. Joey needed to cry, to grieve, but what could she do, how could she make it happen?


	6. Chapter 6

The school was quiet, everyone behaving, and Hilda understood that this was natural for a period but she wanted the girls to accept the loss and move on with life. How easy was that to say she thought, but just exactly how was she supposed to do it? Everyone was in shock and that shock would take time to get over. Was it because it was Len who everyone knew,no, she felt it would be the same had it been Ted or one of the others. It had brought home something quite deep to the younger ones, something they rarely thought about, why indeed should they, and because they were young they didn’t exactly know just how to deal with it.They were encouraged to talk, lessons were not strictly adhered to, nor were the rules, everything, everyone was being cut a bit of slack. What more could she do? She felt at some point she needed to stop the allowances and get the school back on track, thinking that the normality would help at least the younger girls to cope, perhaps from the next week she pondered. It felt cruel but she knew that it was probably the right thing to do, sadly life had to go on.

And what could she do to help Nell? Things were perhaps slightly more normal at Millies as the girls were older and many hadn’t known Len personally. They were naturally sad but it didn’t affect them, nor the staff so deeply, apart from Nell. Hilda wished she could have Nell here staying with her, to help her, care for her, but Nell refused to leave her school, her responsibility at this time. Hilda could understand that, she too was using the school as a bit of a crutch, something to lean on when reality became too much. She made her mind up that that weekend she would go to see Nell.

The first prefects meeting was painful for all concerned, Con and Margot were not there, there was talk that they might return the following week but who knew, it might be too soon.Ted reluctantly took the head girls chair, Carmela the senior prefect.  
“If I may suggest this please “Carmela spoke “May we just have a moment, a minute to think of Len, say a little prayer “The silence in that minute was deep and at the end more than one had damp eyes. The formal business was quickly concluded and the girls were able to relax slightly. No one quite knew what to say, to talk about, especially in front of Ted.She realised this and excused herself, going to her own room  
“They’ll be able to talk now “she thought “without worrying about me “she wanted someone to worry about her, to hug her, but there was no one. Walking into her room she stopped, there was someone there, a tall dark graceful girl stood to greet her holding out her arms.  
“Ros, oh Ros”Ted exclaimed.


	7. Chapter 7

“Joey, I am worried about you “Madge said gently.  
“Why? “in a dull tone.  
“You seem to be holding it all in, it will make you ill, and that won’t help”  
“Others have gone through this, I am no different, they have coped so I imagine I will”  
“This is Jack all over again “Madge thought desperately “except there will be no second chance”  
“But they allowed themselves to grieve Joey, just as you should, and then you can remember”  
“Remember what, the loss of a daughter?”  
“The good times Joey, all those years that you had Len”  
“As I say, I will just have to cope as many others have, after all life must go on”  
Madge discussed it with Jem”I don’t know what to do for her, can you help?”  
He sighed “Drugs won’t help Madge, we really need something to snap her out of it, make her cry, I know that sounds cruel but I would feel better about her if she did that”  
“How is Jack coping?”  
“He is devastated and in no shape to help Joey, he’s trying to cope for the children.”  
“Perhaps they need to help each other”

Con was in Lens room, sitting on the bed, just staring at nothing, not even really thinking, Margot came in and sat next to her.  
“What do we do now, what are you going to do?”  
“I don’t know, I’m not Len and I am not going to follow her footsteps, have a family, marry, stay here, that’s not for me.”  
“Do you think Len was really going to do that, marry I mean?”  
“No, not really, not yet anyway and I doubt it would have been to Reg, she didn’t really like him”  
“No, I know, it was mothers dream really wasn’t it, I think Len just hadn’t got round to saying no to her.”  
Con smiled very slightly “I think you are right, right now it doesn’t matter but I hope to follow my own plans, write, be a journalist.”  
“I’m not going to be a nun”  
Con wasn’t really surprised, Margot’s heart hadn’t been in it for some time and this latest tragedy wouldn’t have helped.  
“How can I be, he has taken away my sister, I wasn’t all that keen anyway, but not now, it’s not going to happen.”  
“I imagine that if you had strong enough faith it would not change your mind”Con said cautiously.  
“I thought I did, I thought, for a while anyway, that it was what I really wanted, but I don’t, I want nothing to do with church, He didn’t save Len.”  
Con hugged her sister silently, what could either say to dispute that.


	8. Chapter 8

“I’m going to see Nell this weekend “Hilda told Ruth “would you mind holding the fort?”  
“Of course not, how is Nell?”  
“Taking it badly, as we all are, but she was very close to Len “Hilda sighed “I just want to see if she needs a listening ear”  
“I would think that she would be pleased to see you”  
“Perhaps, perhaps not, but I’ve got to try, she hasn’t been down in a few days which is not like her, I confess to be a little worried”  
On the Saturday morning she walked over to Millies, walking into Nell’s study she caught her unawares. She was shocked to see how pale Nell was, her haggard look, obviously not sleeping.  
Nell raised a slight smile “Hello, I was sort of expecting you”  
Hilda sat “Well you have been ignoring me so I decided to come to you and see how you are”  
“I haven’t been about much “Nell admitted.  
“I can see that, if it helps you are not alone. Will you come out with me for a little walk, some fresh air might help that headache”  
Again Nell smiled slightly “I knew you would notice”  
“Of course I would, are you coming?”  
“Yes, alright, just us two though”  
“I wasn’t planning on inviting anyone else “Hilda said gently.  
A little reluctantly Nell followed Hilda, but she did have an aching head and knew the fresh air would help. They walked quietly away from the school, saying very little, secure in their companionship. They had been together many years and knew each other’s ways and often thoughts.  
“So is this a social visit or have you come to make me cry “Nell asked eventually.  
Hilda tucked her arm through Nells”To be honest, both. I’ve missed you this week but knew you wanted time to be by yourself, to grieve”  
“Not done that “Nell said gruffly “It hurts too much for tears”  
“Yet they might help you my dear”  
“Tears won’t change anything; they will make no difference”  
“But they might to you “Hilda said.  
“I don’t really matter, never have “Nell shrugged “but Len mattered, had her whole life in front of her and now it’s gone.”  
“You do matter Nell; I’ll talk to you about that sometime.”  
Nell shrugged again “I lie awake asking why, demanding why, and I get no answers”  
“You are not alone; I have also asked “Hilda admitted.  
“I have always believed, now I am asking, wondering why “she looked at Hilda “are you getting any answers?”  
“No, no I’m not”  
“I want to know why Hilda; I want to know why an 18-year-old had to die.”


	9. Chapter 9

Ted fell into Ros’s arms and the elder girl held her until the storm of tears had passed.  
“I wasn’t expecting you” Ted sniffed.  
“Lady Russell organised it and flew me out here, paid for it too”Ros told her.  
“I was going to”  
“I know, but she wanted to, I didn’t get to argue, nor did I want to “She pulled Ted down onto the bed still with an arm round her.  
“How long can you stay?”  
“A while, I’ve no real plans back home, if you want me here I can stay”  
“I do want you, it’s so awful Ros”  
“I know, and I bet you are blaming yourself because Len was returning from visiting you, she visited us Ted, and I don’t blame you. “  
“It wasn’t your fault”Ted protested.  
“The truth is that it was neither of us fault, it was just a tragic, horrific accident”  
“It’s so hard to accept”  
“Right now it is impossible to accept, I don’t want to believe it, I want it to be a horrible joke from someone, I want Len to jump out and shout surprise, but she won’t, I know she won’t, I want it so much though “softly.  
Ted leaned into her wearily “No, she won’t”  
They sat together silently for a little while, drawing strength from each other until there was a knock on the door. Opening it Ted found a tray with hot coffee and a simple snack there, she looked around but saw no one. She took it in and although neither was hungry they were grateful for the coffee.  
Miss Annersley told me there will be a memorial service in a few days, I will certainly be here until then “Ros paused “have you seen her mother?”  
“No, no one has, and Con and Margot are not at school either, I’m not sure that I want to anyway, what if she hates me”  
“Us….I hope she won’t but there is a possibility. I suppose she does have a right to blame us, I hope she won’t, if she does then we must forgive her and understand her pain. Perhaps we should ask Miss Annersley or Miss Wilson.”  
“I think Miss Annersley is looking after Miss Wilson, she is pretty devastated”  
“I think a lot of people are, perhaps we could ask Lady Russell, I’ll do that if you like.How are you holding up as Head Girl?”  
“I’m doing it for Len, I wanted to refuse but it felt like I would be letting her down if I did. Its easy right now anyway, everyone in the school is still in shock.”  
“Our Len was a pretty popular girl”Ros half smiled “not that she would ever believe that.”  
“She never believed in herself did she, no matter what we told her, she never felt she was good enough”  
“She needed to find herself, and she would have. We are lucky Ted”  
“How, just how can you say that?”Ted demanded.  
“Because we were her closest friends for years, we probably know more about her than her own mother, she trusted us and nothing and no one can take that away from us.”


	10. Chapter 10

Madge was still concerned about Joey who was going around in an almost zombie like state, not accepting the loss nor allowing herself to grieve that loss. She was obviously not sleeping well,Jem had contemplated sleeping tablets but did not feel they were a good idea as yet. He was however concerned about her as well, what she really needed he felt was to accept, to grieve. All of them were shocked but time does help and although that grief was not far from the surface they were starting, ever so slowly, to accept.  
“What can we do? “Madge asked  
“I really don’t know, she’s ignoring Jack, but they need to get together, talk to each other but right now they seem to be fighting their own wars”  
“And neither are winning “Madge sighed.  
Jack walked through the woods, head down, not seeing the scenery, images of Len kept flashing through his mind, he fought the feeling of loss, if he didn’t believe would that mean Len was alive, if he looked up would he see her come laughing towards him. He shook his head, it was a stupid idea, he would never see her again, but the thought kept niggling, what if, perhaps, he heard a stick break somewhere. Hopefully, heart thudding, he looked up, all he saw was trees, nothing, just trees. It was too much for him, he had convinced himself Len would be there, and he sank to his knees sobbing, he never realised just how much he loved his eldest daughter.  
He felt arms around him but couldn’t see who it was until a well-known, loved voice spoke” Oh Jack, I’m so sorry, I’ve neglected you, I’ve been so deep in my own feelings “and he realised it was Joey. They sat in the grass hugging each other, tears, healing tears, flowing.

They did not see the watchers of Jem and Madge who stood silently,Jems arm round Madge’s shoulders “Thank god “muttered Jem, “they needed that”  
“Hopefully now they will support each other, let’s leave them alone “and they moved silently away.  
“It was a good idea of yours to suggest to both of them that they went for a walk out here “he said.  
“We had to try something, anything “she said with a slight sad smile.

“I’m sorry “Joey repeated “I was just sunk in my own misery”  
He gently wiped her tear stained face “I know, I understand, I was the same, and the children, we have neglected them.”  
“Thank goodness for Madge and Jem”she leaned against him “How do we get through this Jack, we have never faced this kind of thing before, none of us have.”  
“I don’t know; I suppose we take each day as it comes”  
“I can’t help thinking, what if she hadn’t gone to the UK, what if she had stayed with us “Joey admitted “I know it’s ridiculous, but I cannot help it”  
“She went to visit her friends, we cannot begrudge that, and we can at least take comfort that she was returning home after a happy holiday”  
“And then, oh Jack did she suffer, was she scared, alone, wanting us “she shuddered and he hugged her tightly “I can’t bear that thought Jack, I just can’t”


	11. Chapter 11

“She hadn’t experienced life Hilda “Nell said “all she had seen, especially recently, was this isolated hole”  
“Not quite “Hilda corrected gently “she had started branching out on her own, visiting Ted, doing her own thing more.”  
“But there was so much in life out there for her “Nell protested “so much to do, to see, I cannot seem to get beyond why, just why it stopped so suddenly, so horribly. Please don’t give me the answer that it was Gods will because right now that’s the last thing I want to hear, the last thing that I want to believe. “she was angry “I cannot believe He would want that; I refuse to believe”  
Hilda wasn’t surprised at Nell’s feelings, indeed she felt the same, just why, but it was a question that would never be answered. Nell’s faith had always been strong, she had not talked about it much unless to Hilda, but it had been there, now it was severely shaken and Hilda did not blame her. It was natural to search for a reason, people had the need to know why, but there was no reason that they would ever know other than it was a tragic accident.  
“She was so looking forward to college, scared but excited, wanting to start a new part of her life but scared because it would be so different, instead of a large fish in a small pool it would be the other way round, and she knew that. And she would be no longer automatically thought of as a triplet, they would all be separate and she wanted that too, she wanted to find out what that was like”  
“You’ve obviously talked “Hilda said gently, encouragingly.  
“This last year yes, she didn’t want to ask her parents in case it seemed disloyal, that she wasn’t happy. She was, there were things that annoyed her but overall she was happy.”  
“What annoyed her?”  
“Reg, the seeming acceptance of him, Jack and Joey that she would marry him, she was never going to, although I will never tell him that now, why hurt the boy, but she didn’t love him. And she was right, she needed to see life, meet others before settling down, she told me that she had the feeling that she would never marry”  
“I didn’t know that “Hilda was letting Nell talk, hoping it would help.  
“She never told anyone, I think she had had enough parenting already. “At Hilda’s quizzical look she laughed slightly “one of the things that had started to annoy her was the presumption that she would always look after the others when she was home. For some reason Joey never expected the same from Con and Margot and it was starting to grate on her a little. That’s why the holiday with Ted and Ros was so special to her, just three teenage girls doing what they wanted, no responsibilities, it meant so much to her, that freedom. She wrote to me, I received the letter after the crash, I was glad under the grief.”  
“Another thing not to tell Joey and Jack” Hilda hugged Nell.  
“Never will, why upset them, they loved her, they were just a bit thoughtless, but I will be telling Ros and Ted, they may be blaming themselves, I want them to know just what it meant to her”  
“Ros is here, Madge arranged it”  
“I know, and I’m glad, we are asking a lot from Ted, I just hope that it is not too much.”  
“Ted is strong, and with Ros beside her, hopefully that will help.”  
Nell was silent for a few moments then she looked up, tears in her eyes “Those talks were special to me, now even more so, just why Hilda, why did it happen “and she broke down as Hilda held her tightly, tears in her own eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

Reg was moodily walking around the Platz, hands in his pockets, idly kicking a stone now and again. His thoughts, naturally, were on Len, who he had believed was part of his future. He had known her since she was a child, about three, and he was twelve. He had decided that she was the girl for him and had even spoken to Jack about it when Len was sixteen. Jack had advised him to wait, that Len was too young, too inexperienced, and so he had waited, not said anything, and now he couldn’t, it was too late.  
It was horrible, a tragedy, a loss of a young life, of the girl he thought he loved, yet why did he not feel worse? He felt guilty that he didn’t feel worse, that deep down there was perhaps a feeling of relief. That really bothered him, just why was he not devastated, he was sorry, horrified, desperately sorry for the family, for the friends, yet there was a niggling feeling of relief, and it worried him as to why.  
The only thing he could think of, and he didn’t want to think it, was that he actually hadn’t really loved Len. But he had, he knew he had, but had he? Len was a pretty girl, charming, a good match, but she was just a girl, still just a child in many ways. In many ways too young for him, a thing Jack had warned him about, that the age difference was too much in these days, when woman wanted to branch out, do more than marry at a very young age.  
He looked up at the sky, hoping for answers in the clouds but not finding them. Jack had told him that he felt Reg needed an older woman, a partner, someone who had experience, and could help him. Len was too naïve, too inexperienced to be able to do that for many years, and to be fair, who knows, at college she might have met someone else, fell in love and he would be side-tracked, out in the cold. And yet he didn’t feel that disappointed at that thought, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had been wrong, that he didn’t love the girl, just how convenient the marriage would be.  
He let the tears flow “I am so sorry Len, I feel I am letting you down “he whispered brokenly “You were a lovely girl, a wonderful person, and I promise that I will never ever forget you, you didn’t deserve this”

Anna made more bread, the automatic actions kept the thoughts away, it was when she stopped that they crowded in. Her favourite, the child who never ever forgot to thank her Anna, who she loved, was gone, and she would never ever see that smile or feel that hug again.  
She kneaded the bread with excessive force, taking out her anger on the dough. She did this for awhile before throwing her hands up and sat down, her head in her hands. Anger was keeping her going, but the pain of grief was not far away, she was using being busy to cope. She felt at that moment she had no one she could talk to, Joey and Jack were wrapped up in themselves, her own family were too far away to help.  
No one really knew just how much she loved Len, or indeed how much Len had cared for Anna. All the family cared about her but Len, Len had been special, the closest Anna felt as having a child of her own. She hadn’t let herself cry yet, trying to be strong for the family, trying to put her own pain on hold to help them get through these hard days. But right now it was hurting too much, she needed a friend.  
“Anna, can I help “came a soft voice and she looked up to see the anxious face of Rosli looking at her. She put her hand on Anna’s shoulder “can I do anything for you”  
“Hold me”  
Rosli knelt beside her and the two hugged, held each other whilst Anna let the tears flow, grateful for Rosli and the care she had shown.


End file.
